‘I’m a surgeon, I don't have time for you': Teachers Share Stories About Parents Who Need a Lesson in Parenting

Author image for Eleonora Bader
Eleonora Bader
Jun 2, 2024 10:00 AM EDT

Teachers deserve better pay, more respect than they're given, and honestly, a gold medal per kid that's learning in their class.

One teacher took to r/teachers and shared a story that bothered them, asking fellow educators to share examples of parents being 'too busy' or 'too successful' to pay attention to their kids. The teacher shared that their IEP meeting with a student and his mom was unusual. The mom, a lawyer, seemed oddly distant from both her son and the teacher. Despite multiple emails, she initially questioned their identity and role, which felt strange for someone in her profession. During the meeting, the interaction with the woman's son seemed clinical, almost like a doctor-patient appointment. Though there was affection, it lacked warmth and seemed forced.

The teacher chalked it up to her being rich, busy, and not very warm. Check out the full thread below, and how people replied with their own 'entitled parents' stories. Then check out these overprotective parents who were denied entry to their daughter's home after taking advantage of the spare key they had.

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  • 01
    "You're his father, who cares if you're a surgeon?"
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  • 02
    What is an example of parents being "too busy/too successful" to pay attention to their kids you have encountered?
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  • 03
    I had an IEP meeting this past week with a parent. This parent (mom) was a lawyer and the dad is a psychiatrist. I've not heard anything from the dad all year (not unusual, to be fair) but I also get the sense he is very distant. The interaction between the mom and the kid seemed a oddly distant as well.
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  • 04
    I've emailed her several times, including to set up the meeting. At first, she asked me who I was and if I worked at the school. I wasn't sure if she was being passive aggressive because perhaps she expected me to be more in contact with her. Or if she actually didn't understand that I was the kids special education case manager, which would be strange. She then asked some vague questions about what say the parents had in future IEPs, which was also odd, especially since she's a lawyer.
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  • 05
    When it was time for her and the kid to interact, it seemed a bit off. It felt kind of like he was a patient in a waiting room and she had made time to see him but didn't really know him. There did seem to be a loving connection, it was just very distant. It felt like the kid didn't know what to say or wasn't sure what to say to his mom.
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  • 06
    temperedolive 13 hr. ago · edited 4 hr. ago I used to teach at a school outside of Moscow, where most of the students were children of Russian oligarchs. Very, very privileged and often very, very lonely. I had an eight year old boy who lived in his own apartment with a staff of live-in servants to take care of him since his parents didn't want to deal with a child in their own home. He saw them a few times a year. I also had a twelve year old girl who had a breakdown in class because her mother
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  • 07
    These kids had so much. One of them brought in the skin of a Siberian tiger that he k ed on a hunting trip for show and tell. Another one used to send her chauffeur into the city to get treats for me when she thought I looked tired (sweetest kid ever). But they weren't being parented in any kind of way. It was heartbreaking and really drove home how true the poor little rich kid thing can be. My Christmas gifts were wild, though. 1.5k Reply Share
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  • 08
    Haunting-Sea-6868 · 13 hr. ago I cannot comprehend this. My whole fantasy of being rich is that I would have all the time in the world to spend with my kids. We would have meals together, go on vacations, museums, water-parks, have game nights together. It's so sad that people who have all the time and resources to actually parent their children just choose not to. 769 Reply Share
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  • 09
    Paramalia 13 hr. ago I worked at a daycare and called a high-income parent to come pick up her sick kid. He had a fever and was miserable. I was trying to comfort him while he waited, of course. His mom came to get him and she was yelling at him because she had a lot of meetings. She later called the daycare to complain. At the time, I was using food stamps to feed my own child, and things were very tight. It really made me realize money isn't everything when it comes to raising kids. 530 Reply
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  • 10
    A--Little--Stitious . 13 hr. ago One of my earliest memories is of being picked up from school with a fever and my mom taking me back to the office because she had important meetings. She set me up to nap under her desk. That is one of the reasons I'm a teacher, I knew I needed to be there more for my kids 230 Reply Share
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  • 11
    positivename 13 hr. ago I've had plenty of rich parents. Own a company/ high up in a company. You can flip the coin on this and dr Js and getting laid is a top agenda. 141 Reply Share
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  • 12
    Struggle-Kind 9 hr. ago A much older colleague once told me she had found, in her experience, that the very rich and the very poor treated their children exactly the same: like pets. 95 Reply Share Francine-Frenskwy. 5 hr. ago I've taught both, and it really surprises people when I say that the poor kids are the ones out here acting like entitled, spoiled brats. 25 Reply Share
    via u/Struggle-Kind, u/Francine-Frenskwy
  • 13
    chouse33 12 hr. ago I've had plenty of poor, title 1 school parents. Who don't even work. Stay home all day. Don't give a f :k about their 8 kids. And still, digs and getting I. d is a top agenda. MOST people suck. I just didn't realize it until about 4 years ago. 156 Reply Share
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  • 14
    irregahdlesskid · 13 hr. ago I have a student whose mother is a Reading Specialist - he can't read. She wanted him fluent by the end of this year. Lady, I'm a gen ed teacher, not a fairy with a magic wand. Tried to blame me - um, no. You can % right off ma'am! 235 Reply Share
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  • 15
    Yggdrssil0018. 12 hr. ago Recent IEP. Meeting scheduled 3 weeks prior. Dad switched that morning from in-person to the airport lounge so he could visit a client. Mom was celebrating her birthday at a spa resort in Costa Rica, by herself. The student is 18 and will not graduate. The student also signs himself out of class or school any time he wants. 111 Reply Share ...
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  • 16
    CLP25170 11 hr. ago . Worked at a preschool summer camp for mostly rich kids last summer. Mom and dad were both doctors (both first generation immigrants from Italy). Two kids (3 and 5) would come in every day with nothing but Starbucks treats to eat. No packed lunch-- just $50ish a day worth of cake pops, brownies, cookies, and sugary drinks (which would be in a bottle for the 3 year old). 109 Reply Share
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  • 17
    Dobbys_Other_Sock . 11 hr. ago I work at a private school where most parents were born with more money than I'll ever see in my life, and their kids are very lonely. More often than not they have one parent (usually mom) that's fairly involved, maybe even too involved, and the other parent that you never see. Any attempt to contact the other parent goes completely ignored, if the kid is lucky that parent will be there for major milestones like graduation, but not always. About 20% of our student
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  • 18
    Top-Consideration-16 11 hr. ago This whole thread reminds me of the song, "Cat's in the Cradle." I'm a teacher and have a 14 year old autistic son that was diagnosed at 4. My ex husband has not attended a single IEP meeting in the last decade. Same for parent/teacher conferences, performances, ceremonies, etc.. The only ceremony he ever attended was our older son's high school graduation last year.
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  • 19
    My husband, on the other hand, drove him to PPCD each day, would drop him off at daycare afterward, all while working full time. He'd also show up to conferences if I wasn't able. Some people weren't built to be parents because it's a 24 hour 7 days a week job. 95 Reply Share ...
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  • 20
    Lifow2589 13 hr. ago My first year teaching preschool a parent brought in her visibly sick child. When we told her he needed to go home she argued with us that he wanted to be there so obviously he was well enough to stay. While we were having this conversation the child went over to the trash can, threw up, and said "Mom I threw up again." We told her he couldn't come back until 24 full hours fever and vomit free. She looked so på sy to have to care for her own sick child. That was the day I le
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  • 21
    Cinerea A 11 hr. ago Work with an older teacher whose nieces and nephews have had nothing but problems as adults. Both their parents were travel nurses. Highly skilled, highly paid. But never home. Not being present for your children yields very bad results more often than not. 64 Reply Share
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  • 22
    TylerGlasass20 · 11 hr. ago ESE ELA teacher | USA I had a woman tell me that she did not have time to check her child's portal to see her grades because she worked 7 days a week She was absolutely pleasant to deal with 45 Reply Share
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  • 23
    ItsDamia 12 hr. ago I had a student last year whose father demanded his contact info be removed from our information system because he is a surgeon who is too busy to be bothered by his sons' education. We could sometimes email mom but mostly had to go through a nanny. 163 Reply Share ...
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  • 24
    ambereatsbugs. 8 hr. ago I never saw that as a teacher but I definitely saw it when I worked as a nanny. One time I was taking over for a nanny who had quit suddenly and I was asking the mom basic questions like what her kid likes to play or what she likes to eat, and the mom was so exasperated with me. She was like "I don't know what she likes to play, just feed whatever kids eat!" Couldn't tell me what time her kid got out of school, what time she normally ate dinner, what time she went to bed
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  • 25
    Equal-Fox9901 · 11 hr. ago I work at a very high income elementary school. Many of my students have nannies and most have 2 parents who work full time (doctors, lawyers, scientists, professors.) We had a field trip in April and it was $10 per student for bus and admission to the place we went. One mom (has twins in my class) waited until the last possible day to pay. I was in the teacher's lounge on recess when I overheard her come into the front office (with twins, dropping them off late) and b
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